What if
by Trainofpeetas
Summary: What if after going out with your best friend you get into an accident and when you wake up you don't remember the past eight years of your life. Your younger sister is engaged and all your friends are strangers. Modern day au, How will Katniss deal with this traumatic experience?
1. Chapter 1

I don't know whether to scream or yell, seems like both are the best answer. It is Friday night and I'm stuck doing assignments. It's not like I hate them it's just that peeta planned for us to go to the opening of a new Broadway show that he was really excited for. It's time to suck it up, I mean it shouldn't be too hard to finish my assignment by Monday morning right? Yep, its decided I can't let down peeta after all he's done for me. I quickly change into my plum colored, sleeveless dress that ends at my knees. I look at myself in the mirror. My hair is all messy in my braid so I undo it and brush my fingers through it. Better.

My phone rings and I know who it is without seeing the contact. "Katniss are you coming down, I'm outside your place"

"Yea I'm done, I'll just get my purse". I walk down the stairs of my unit and see peeta sitting in his white Chevy. He seems distracted so i just walk up to the car and tap its window. It does the trick and seems to frighten him as he drops his phone and quickly closes it before I could see what he was up to.

Peeta rolls down the window and stares directly in my eyes, his blue eyes glinting mischievously. "You wouldn't happen to be Miss Katniss Everdeen would you?" I roll my eyes at his silliness and cross over to the passenger seat.

"I'm thinking a burger after the show sounds good what about you?"

"I'm in as long as you're by my side" I scoff at that, sometimes Peeta sounds so corny but being best friends for seven years gets you used to it. Peeta starts the car and we head off.

The night sky is clear and the stars are twinkling as we drive through the quiet, isolated road. When we arrive the area is packed with people. We drive around for another ten minutes until we finally find parking.

"I'm regretting this already, you know how much i hate being around a lot of people peeta" I say as we walk down to the entrance.

"Don't worry about it" Peeta squeezes my hand and I find myself relaxing a bit.

As we walk up to the theatre I find myself getting anxious again. It was crowded on the outside but the inside is a mess, it's like New York's time square in here. Other than that it looks like a typical old Broadway theatre and when you enter inside the chairs are all red and have some golden detailing on them. Peeta sighs and I find myself sighing as well. He always makes me feel more at ease.

When we get to our seat Peeta lets go of my hand and starts scrolling on his phone. I sit there awkwardly fiddling with my fingers and waiting for the performance to begin. After a while Peeta puts his phone back into his pocket and turns to look at me seriously.

"Hey Katniss I need to tell you something…" and just when Peeta was about to say something the lights suddenly go dark and the opening of the show begins. I turn to look at Peeta but he seems distracted by the performance. He looks a bit tense and nervous and I can see a bit of sweat slowly coming down the side of his forehead. I shrug and look at the show.

I must have fallen asleep halfway because next thing I know the show is over. It was great show… well the part I can remember that is. Peeta lightly taps me smiling shyly like he doesn't want to interrupt me "Should we go?"

I stretch "yea".

As we make our way out I hear loud bangs but I choose to ignore them, probably just some road construction going on nearby. As we walk out I begin to hear people shouting frantically and some screaming.

I look at Peeta and he looks frightened as well. "Let's quickly get to the car"

At a time like this I would have just ran towards the theatre but instead I kept following Peeta. Two more bangs sounded in the air, they seemed closer than before. I've heard that sound before. It doesn't sound like construction work anymore. "Peeta!" I yell, but through all the noise and commotion I don't think he can hear me.

I'm starting to lose track of Peeta because of the people pushing through. My heart begins to sink into my stomach when I hear another loud bang. Too close for my liking. I start to run but it's too late. It's like my life flashed through my eyes and in that second I thought that I was going to die. A sharp pain ran up my back.

I fell to the ground unable to get up. The pain is unbearable. I try calling for Peeta but my voice seems distant, my vision starts to go blurry. I finally see Peeta coming towards me, but that could just be me because it looks like he's splattered in red paint.

I feel myself getting lifted up but that's it. Everything fades to black and I don't recall anything else that happened.


	2. The aftermath

As soon as I regain consciousness I start hearing a constant loud beeping sound. I try to open my eyes, but they just keep rolling to the back of my head. "Where am I?" I mumble. My throat feels like it's covered in sand.

"Try not to move, everything will be alright Katniss" even though I don't know who I'm talking to I feel myself trust the soothing voice. The voice sounds just like my mother.

Wait a minute she is my mother "Mommm" I grumble.

"Katniss, I'm right here just don't move"

"Mommy, I missed you sooo much"

"Sweetie, are you alright? Is there any pain?"

Pain? I don't know why she would ask me why I'm in pain, I mean all my muscles ache but that's because me and Prim just came back home from swimming. Didn't we?

I try to get up but a pain shoots through my lower back. "Argh, my back, why does it hurt? Mom?"

"Katniss, try to open your eyes please" she seems to be getting a bit frantic.

I try to open my eyes once again and am blinded by bright white lights. After adjusting I start to see about two doctors and two nurses including my mother. I blink again "why am I in the hospital?"

"Katniss, do you not remember what happened?"

I look around once again trying to look for anything that might help me recognize why I'm in the hospital. I look at my mom again. She has quite a few locks of white hair. Her face looks a bit wrinkled in the corner of her eyes. Other than that I don't know what's wrong.

"Did… you dye your hair?" She looks at the two doctors. They nod at each other, write something down and then go outside, while talking to my mother.

After everyone's gone I just sit there looking at the ceiling. The curtain next to me begins to rustle and then it opens.

A guy with golden blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes hobbles towards my bed. "Hey Katniss, how are you feeling?"

I look at him strangely. He looks familiar yet I can't quite figure out who he is.

"Umm…Who are you?"

He tilts his head to the side and frowns. "You don't know who I am?"

I shake my head slowly. He bites his lower lip and for a split second I see a faint smile on his lips. "Katniss, it's me Peeta"

"Peeta? As in Peeta Mellark?" He nods slowly.

"Wow, You look…so…different, why are you so big?"

"Well if you didn't know we're in college right now"

I laugh nervously "Peeta we're only…seven…teen" I say this while looking at my hands. Peeta hands me his phone and when I hold the screen up to my face, I quickly drop the phone. I look years older, when did this happen, how did it happen?

"Um… do you um remember Finnick?" when I shake my head no he continues with a hint of jealousy behind his tone "yea, you're…dating him"

"WHAT?!" how could I forget something like that? How could I forget that I'm in college? What's wrong with me?

I feel my eyes begin to water up.

"PEETA" an old woman calls his name.

"I'll see you later Katniss, I hope you feel better" He says this while frowning. And then the waterworks begin. I start to cry hysterically, and somehow I can't seem to stop myself. I cry for a long time that I begin to run out of breath and suddenly I feel like I can't breathe. I hear a loud beeping sound and then a bunch of nurses rush up to me. A doctor comes in and then injects me with a needle.

I don't recall anything other than me getting all woozy and falling asleep.

The next time I wake up it's easier. I'm much more aware of my surroundings and the fact that I know that I am no longer seventeen years old again. The second thing that comes to my mind is WHY ME?! I know that probably everyone says this, hell people probably have it worse than I do but in this moment I truly feel incapable of being my former self. Another thing that also annoys me is that nagging feeling you get when you forget what you are thinking about but you know it's in the back of your head yet you still can't quite put your finger on it, yea that's exactly how I feel right now plus the constant dull throbbing in my lower back.

The whirlwind of these sensations keep replaying in my mind until someone quickly opens the curtains and runs up to me. At first all I see is a rush of golden hair but then as soon as the person starts to hug me with their fragile hands I know who it is.

"Katniss, I missed you so much! How are you? It's been so long since I last saw you. Are you in pain? I hope I didn't hurt you. I have some exciting news to tell you, wait I shouldn't say it now since you're in pain. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Prim, I'm fine. I missed you to little duck. Just stop blabbering and speak more slowly"

"Katniss, I'm engaged!" Prim squealed. "I've been dying to tell you about it but you've been knocked out for about four days now" She frowned.

Four days? I must've said that out loud because Prim nods bleakly. I suddenly have the urge to return back home, what do my friends think? Do I have any friends? If so, do they know? I have so many unanswered questions but first things first, "Prim, do you know what happened to me? Why am I in the hospital in the first place?"

"Well, I wasn't there with you but hearing from the news and Peeta, there was a shooting at the Broadway show you guys where at. You're lucky to have gotten away with as little as one shot in your lower back. Peeta got the majority of it, he got six shots in his left leg, he was lucky enough to even have a leg left after the incident." Prim says solemnly.

I look over at her horrified, no wonder when I saw him, he was having a hard time walking over to me.

"Do you know when I'm going home?" I ask hopefully

"Actually, Yes I do! You're going home today after they discharge you" Prim says with excitement.

Always leave it to Prim to remain happy and cheerful at a dull moment. Suddenly I feel really tired and yawn silently. Prim must have noticed because she kisses me on the forehead and tucks me in.

After a while I wake up to a nurse checking my blood pressure with Prim observing right by her side. When she notices I have awoken she smiles and cheerfully tells me "It's time!"

The nurse nods with a soft smile, "She's right you're all ready to go back home as soon as we get some papers sign and the physical therapist sees how well you can walk without any side effects."

About an hour and one painfully awkward 'trying to walk again' session later we are finally able to leave the hospital.


	3. The get together

Prim leads us to a silver Cadillac which she states as hers. When did she get this fancy? The pain in my lower back isn't too bad, that's probably because my medication hasn't worn off yet. I wonder what will happen when it does.

"Katniss, do you want to stay at my house?"

Her house? I thought we still lived with mom. Oh…right eight years later Prim is not fifteen, she probably does own her own house. I frown at the thought of my baby sister growing up, and I don't even remember a thing from the eight years that have just passed, what else do I not remember?! Apparently a lot…

"Sure Prim, you don't live with anyone else do you?" I ask inquisitively

She blushes, a bright pink straining across her cheeks. Guess I shouldn't have asked.

"Never mind that just please tell me that you don't share a bedroom"

If it's any possible her cheeks only get redder, she doesn't answer my question but her reaction says it all

"Prim, do you remember what mom taught us about the birds and the bees?" I say sternly but with concern laced into it. I sure as hell don't want my… calculating… twenty-three year old sister getting pregnant.

"Katniss! Mom, told me a million times, I don't need to hear it again from you" She squeaks out

Good at least she's staying safe. It still doesn't shake the disturbing image of Prim, my baby sister being intimate with someone else, someone that I don't know or remember on top of that! I will have to meet this man as soon as we get to her house.

We arrive outside a small apartment duplex

"We're at your place Katniss, just so we could get some of your clothes"

I nod examining the area curiously. When we enter the apartment the first thing I notice is a bunch of papers laid out on the coffee table. They all have biology written on them. One has the word test and Monday underlined in red. I gulp, at least I don't have to worry about that for now.

I look around while Prim heads directly to what I suspect to be the bedroom. After looking around some more I go after her. The bedroom is messy and the clothes hamper in the corner of the room is full. Prim is looking in my wardrobe with a suitcase open in the middle of my bed.

She crinkles her nose "Katniss, we need to get you shopping. All of your clothes are Bor-Ring!" She drawls out the last word. Geez I didn't know she was this sassy either.

After some more examining I find my phone on my nightstand, must've forgotten it here before I left. I pick it up and open it. I sigh, good no password. I should put one in though just to be on the safe side. I click on my text messages, who knows it might help me remember something. First thing I see is Peeta. Oh yea he was at the hospital with me. I should check up on him soon. According to what Prim said his situation was way worse, plus he might have some more information about what exactly happened.

"That should be it for now, if you need anything else you can borrow from me" Prim says after a while.

I look up at her and nod, my eyes reverting back to my phone. I shrug I'll read it when I arrive at Prim's house. We lock up and then head back to Prim's car. When we settle inside the car I absentmindedly listen to Prim's rambling about how some girl at her school got her tooth knocked off.

My mind kept spacing off and I couldn't help but think about the last time I saw Peeta. He said I was dating Finnick. Well whoever the guy was he hadn't texted me since before my accident so that probably says a lot about him… now that I think about it no one texted me as of late. Not even Peeta…why do I feel most disappointed that he didn't contact me? Because, he's your friend duh, the irritating nagging part of my brain said. I'm brought back to reality when a worried Prim faces me

"Katniss, we stopped about fifteen minutes ago, you hadn't moved since. Are you sure you're alright?"

I look at her tilting my head to the side, has it really been that long? I smile "I'm sure I'm fine Prim, now let me meet the guy who's been hitting on my baby sister and give him a piece of my mind"

"Katniss!" Prim says sternly and with embarrassment laced in her tone as well.

"Oh sorry, I mean your fiancé" I grumble back to her

She seems to be back to her normal self, the pink in her cheeks slowly fading. Let me add not talking about Prim's fiancé in front of her to my list of things not to do. We exit the car and then head to her little house.

The garden in the front is small but neatly trimmed, with different colored roses adorning the sides. We enter the house. It sounds eerily quiet. Wait no I said that too fast. As soon as we enter her small living room we are bombarded by "WELCOME BACK KATNISS!"

I smile at the people whose faces I no longer recognize, save for Peeta who is at the back of the crowd grinning at me. Next thing I know a guy with copper colored hair walks up to me and gives me a hug so big that he lifts me off my feet. "Welcome back home babe" He whispers in my ear tantalizingly. I shiver, so this must be Finnick. When he puts me back down I give him a once over. He looks nice, tall, tan with abs and muscles rippling all over his body and his sea green eyes staring at me while he is smirking cockily. He must've noticed me looking at him. I start to feel heat creeping into my cheeks.

Prim walks over and pushes him away "Be careful big guy you might be her boyfriend but she probably doesn't remember you so lay back for a while, take a chill pill and wipe that smirk off your face or I'll do it for you"

Everyone starts to laugh and I do too. Yep, like I said before leave it to Prim to make a dull moment seem fine. I smile at my sister but before I can retort and tell her I don't mind I find myself being hugged by a small girl with red hair. She looks at me and smiles warmly and I find myself hugging her back. Even though my brain doesn't remember her my body does and I can tell that she must've been a really close friend of mine.

"We all missed you so much Katniss, even though you might not know us anymore" she says in a soft tone frowning at the last part of her sentence. "If you don't remember me, my name is Annie" She pulls away from the embrace and smiles. The name seems so familiar yet I still can't remember who she is.

A taller girl with short dark brown her and bangs pushes past and punches me in the shoulder, It didn't hurt because she barely even touched me but It caught me off guard and I nearly fall backward, Finnick quickly runs over and catches me. When I stand back upright he winks at me and I blush…again.

I look at Peeta, he seems to be avoiding contact. I shrug and look over to the girl who's responsible for my abrupt near fall experience. She's grinning from ear to ear, it's making me nervous just looking at her.

"The name's Johanna, brainless"

"Right…" I drawl out

She tilts her head to the side confused, "We were best friends since we were little, remember?"

Johanna? As in the Johanna Mason that used to have pigtails and wear bright pink dresses? Wow, she probably changed the most.

"Johanna!" I yell, while going up to her and hugging her.

"Yea, yea geez how brainless can ya be?" she says patting my back awkwardly. She never really liked hugs, oh well.

I look over her shoulder and notice a beautiful blonde with sparkling blue eyes, on the verge of tears. I'd know who she was any day "Madge!" I leave Johanna and then go up to hug Madge, maybe I didn't forget everyone.

"Katniss, I'm glad you're back and that you remember me!" she says as I feel tears falling from her eyes, yep she's Madge alright always emotional.

"How could I ever forget someone like you Madge" I say still hugging her. When I finally let go I notice a tall guy with brown hair. Is that Gale? He definitely changed a lot as well.

"Gale" I nod in his direction. We dated when we were sixteen so I guess it feels a bit awkward to hug him, I probably got over it in the past eight years but right now all I remember is ignoring him. I should grow up a bit.

"Katniss" He hugs me for a second and then moves back next to Madge. I look at the two, they seem really close to each other. I'll probably talk to Madge about it later.

The welcoming committee seems to have died down as everyone begins to go out to Prim's patio and it seems like there is a BBQ going on out there too.

I go out to follow them but then I see Peeta still standing there with a sheepish smile.

"Welcome back home Katniss" He says and then hugs me lingering for a bit

When we finally break apart Finnick is coming into the house.

"C,mon Katniss" He says dragging me by my hands.

I look back at Peeta and shrug smiling. I might not remember everything but it seems that everything is slowly coming into place. It feels almost normal, well normal for my standards I guess.

After an hour a guy that looks similar to Gale but is less bulky comes outside to the patio. Prim squeals and then runs up to hug him after that she places a soft kiss on his lips. I didn't need to see that. After she finishes 'greeting' him she brings him over to me.

"Hi, my name is Rory, Rory um Hawthorne…" Rory Hawthorne? Right no wonder he looked like Gale, he's his younger brother.

I look him up and down and he seems to shrink from the scrutiny of my gaze. I nod satisfied, he was a gentlemen when we were younger so I guess he's alright. Still doesn't push the fact that they are screwing each other…

"Just don't get to close to Prim, I'm watching you pretty boy" I look over to Prim and smile at her, she shakes her head at me but is smiling nonetheless.

After everyone was having a good time eating and talking, Finnick calls everyone around. I look over and walk to where everyone is heading. He takes a swig of his beer and then starts talking "Now we all know this wouldn't be a proper party or get together however you want to put it without seven minutes in heaven" He smiles looking at everyone in the circle.

Prim groans "But this isn't a party"

"Same ole, same ole. Either way Katniss deserves to play it because she just came back, what do ya say Kitty Kat?" He says smirking at me.

"Why not?" I say, it sounds like a fun game. I hope I'm not getting myself into any trouble.

Everyone sits down on Prim's Circular wooden dining table in her garden. Finnick spins the bottle and then it lands on Peeta. "Peet buddy, lucky day for you" He spins again and then it lands on me. Finnick instantly recoils "No, not your lucky day, abort stay away from my girl"

I look at them, Peeta shying away with a blush on his cheeks and Finnick saying no. What is this game anyways?

Madge whispers in my ear "You, have to get in the closet with Peeta and have 'seven minutes in heaven' if you know what I mean" She nudges me. Oh.

"Come on. Peeta's to chicken to touch her anyways, I mean he's been pinning after her for years and hadn't made a move. Just get it over and done with" Johanna says pushing me and Peeta towards Prim's closet.

What does she mean pinning after me? I shrug it off, because I guess in a way I'm dating someone even though I have to start fresh again.

When we enter Prim's small closet we just stand there awkwardly.

"So…how's your leg?" I say awkwardly after a couple minutes of fidgeting.

He smiles a lopsided smile "It's getting better"

I nod. "That's good"

His eyes lock on my hair and then he pushes a loose strand behind my ear, I blush. When I look up at him he is smiling and there is a blush on his cheeks too. His eyes are immensely trained on mine and I can't help but blush even harder.

The room starts to get stuffy and I suddenly have the urge to run away. After a couple more seconds Finnick barges in

"Time's up!" He seems happy that we still look normal and all clean.

When we leave the room I look back at Peeta and he is staring at me. I look away quickly embarrassed that I got caught.


	4. Fate and boys

**A/N: I didn't actually realize that i had to write Author's note in myself, it's just so different from AO3 so i get muddled up but anyways HI! I hope you are enjoying this fic so far, i have other Author's notes on AO3 on this fic so if you want to see them and be more updated head over there! I would appreacite if you would review and tell me what you think of the story so far! Enjoy!**

After me and Peeta got back it was Madge and Gale's turn, and believe me when I say this but they weren't half as decent as they were before they got in. While Johanna and Finnick kept cheering them on Prim just had a disgusted look on her face.

"You guys I was just about to put some clothes in there! Ugh get a room" Everyone started laughing at Prim's little outburst even herself.

After it got dark everyone headed inside and got ready to leave.

"You know Katniss, instead of staying at Prim's house you can always stay at mine" Finnick said with a wink, his eyes roaming my body appreciatively.

I blush, and roll my eyes at him. Finnick kisses my cheek and then leaves with Annie and Johanna. Peeta just stood there openly staring at the whole exchange. I look at him and he blushes and looks away.

I don't know what's gotten into him, he's been all blushes the whole day. He barely even said anything!

"Well, I guess I'll see you later Katniss" He finally says

"Goodbye Peeta" Then he leaves.

Madge and Gale where actually the first ones who left something about they left something in the oven mixed with they have a lot of work to catch up on. Yea, they hadn't fooled anyone with that excuse especially Johanna who had bombarded them with questions about tips they should use in the bedroom.

I yawn and then head to the room that Prim said I could use. I get out some pajamas from my suitcase and my toothbrush and hairbrush. I sit down on the bed and begin to brush my hair when Prim knocks and comes in.

"Hey little duck" She comes closer and snuggles by my side

"It's so good to have you back Katniss" Prim sighs

"It's good to be back…" I think about it for a while. "You aren't going to be having sex next door while I'm sleeping in here are you?" I say suspiciously, looking at the flimsy nightgown Prim is wearing.

"What?! No!" Prim squeaks pink spreading all across her face.

"Just making sure" I laugh at her embarrassment

"Katniss? Do you think you'll ever get your memory back?" Prim says this part so quietly I barely hear her.

"I hope so Prim, I hope so" I look at her huddled up next to me and smile. She has grown so much.

"Well, you better go get some sleep, goodnight little duck"

She kisses my cheek. "Goodnight Katniss" and with that she closes the door and I'm left all alone with my thoughts. My terrifying, horrible thoughts.

After taking a quick shower and changing I tie my hair into a braid and get into the bed. I lay there awake. No matter how hard I try to sleep its useless. After a while I must have fallen asleep because I wake up sweating with a horrible dream of the day I got shot. Or maybe it wasn't a dream… What if it was a memory?

I feel the need to talk to someone about it so I grab my phone. It's two in the morning. I see that I have five text messages and a missed call. From Finnick.

I open my phone and look at the messages.

I missed you so much babe

When are you gonna come join me?

I lovveeeeeeeeeee you

Kitty Kat? Fdhk

Kat I lvoe you

I decide to call him and see if he's alright.

"Katniss?" he says in a slurred voice and I know instantly that he's been drinking.

I sigh "Finnick, where are you I'll come and get you" I mean at this moment I'm not going sleep anyway so might as well. Plus he might have some more information as to what happened, even though I'll highly doubt that he'll be sober enough to tell me.

"I'm at the club pub… near the pub club street" He starts laughing at himself. Ugh, he's getting on my last nerves

"Finnick" I say sternly

"Katniss? Are you mad at me please don't be mad" I sigh again

"Finnick I'm not mad just tell me where you are"

"I'm at Rogue Street"

Finally some answers and I know exactly where he is.

"Finnick stay where you are I'll pick you up"

"Oki doki my princess in white armor" He says and then I hang up. Boys can be so irritating when they're drunk… in particular Finnick.

I sneak into Prim's bedroom. Thank god that they are both decent and take her keys from her nightstand quietly tip toeing to get out. I quickly close their door and run out of the house. As soon as I get into Prim's car I realize that my driving skills have deteriorated since. Oh well I'll just have to go with the flow, I mean I did learn how to drive before I was sixteen.

I drive off and surprisingly my driving skills are all good, lucky for that. I only drive for about ten minutes until I find the club. I park the car and get down, heading straight for the entrance and not caring of the people giving me weird looks.

When I enter I almost instantly spot Finnick. A bunch of girls are huddled around him and even though I don't know much about him I feel the need to yell at them that he is taken. I march up to him and when he finally sees me he seems to brighten up

"Katniss, you made it" he slurs. Can I just say how much I hate how he slurs!

"Okay it's time to get you back home" I say with an annoyed look on my face.

"Wait, Peeta is here"

Peeta? I look over Finnick and see Peeta sitting next to him. Oh.

"Hey Katniss" Peeta says with extra confidence. I guess he's drunk as well. Just my luck, two drunks and a car… yea I don't know how well that will go, I just hope they don't puke in Prim's car she'd kill me!

"Peeta do you need a ride back home too?" I say exasperated

He looks around "It would seem so" He says smiling and winking at me.

I roll my eyes and drag them out of their seats. I just got out of hospital and this is what I get.

"Hey, nice outfit Katniss. It looks cute on you" Peeta says. I look down and notice I'm still wearing my pajamas. I blush, not only am I dragging around two drunk guys but I'm also wearing my sleep wear on top of that.

After what seems like forever we finally get to my… Prim's car. Finnick sits in the passenger seat beside me and Peeta sits at the back.

"Where do you want to go Peeta?"

"I live two blocks away from your apartment so just go the same route" He's lucky that I still remember the route Prim took to my house.

When we arrive he gets up and goes to the driver's window.

"Thanks Katniss" He says with sincerity and hopefulness but as soon as I thought that he was sobering up a bit he looks at Finnick grins and says

"See you next time brother" and they fist palm across me. Boys, I guess they never change, well when they're drunk that is.

After Peeta starts to walk to his apartment I ask Finnick where his house is. He seems confused for a moment.

"I don't know"

"How can you not remember where you live?" I ask incredulously

"Well I just don't remember" he says this while putting his hands behind his head and leaning back with a smug grin on his face. Jerk.

I end up taking him back to Prim's house because I no longer have the patience to wait for him to give me an answer after I already waited fifteen minutes for him to speak up. When we enter he follows me to my bedroom.

"Oh no, you're not sleeping in here"

He looks confused with a pout on his face and it looks so adorable that I force myself not to smile "I'm not?"

"Nope you're going to the sofa" and with that I get him a blanket and pillow and bring it to the living room.

When I throw the pillow and blanket on the couch, he looks at me expectantly. I can't even comprehend what he does next because he leans in and kisses me softly on the lips. At first I'm shocked and just stand there frozen but then I open my lips and let him have access. We stand there kissing hotly for a couple seconds when I realize what is happening and then quickly break apart. This isn't right, I might have done this before but I'm starting new now. I quickly leave him mumbling goodnight.

When I get into bed I snuggle into the blankets and find myself quickly falling asleep.

When I wake up in the morning Prim is there looking annoyed but grinning. "You said I couldn't do anything with Rory but yet here you are with Finnick. Hypocrite." She mumbles laughing and walking out of the bedroom.

I don't know what she's talking about but then I feel a warmth on my back. I turn around slowly and find myself face to face with a shirtless Finnick.

"Finnick!" I scream. He wakes up and grumbles something along the lines of my head. Well, that's what he gets for drinking too much.

I quickly get off the bed get some new clothes and head into the bathroom. After changing and washing my face I head to Prim's dining room but I can't help my thoughts travel to the shirtless Finnick that I woke up too… When did he even get in my bed in the first place?!

 **A/N: Yes i had to write more notes but i can't help myself but feel so disconnected from my readers on FFN, I am still getting the hang of uploading as it did come as more of a struggle than i initially thought. But if you have any questions don't be afraid to PM me or go to my Tumblr, Trainofpeetas. Hope you enjoyed!**


	5. better

**A/N: I don't exactly know how well this turned out but more comments should be down at the end of the chapter**

Prim turns to look at me with a huge smile on her face. Oh dear, I should probably be scared.

"Katniss, Katniss, Kaaatniss"

I roll my eyes with a smile on my face "What is it Prim?"

"Well… I've been thinking and planning" she adds

"yes…"

"yea, so me and the girls… and the guys had planned to guy down to dad's lake and have a swim. I mean it is going to be a hot day, If it's alright with you" she rushes out

I smile at her "Sure Prim"

If its possible her smile gets bigger and she squeals jumping up and down like a three year old. She runs over and hugs me

"Thanks, Katniss you're the best"

She then goes over to Rory kisses his cheek and sits down to continue eating. I shake my head and then sit down with them. I don't think Finnick will get up until later.

After getting all ready and dragging Finnick out of bed we finally head of to the lake. Rory and Prim are at the front and are singing along to some song on the radio. Finnick is wearing shades and is just looking out the window.

I look out the window and stare at all the trees passing the isolated dirt road. Then I get one of the flashbacks that I thought was a dream again. This time it's about me and Finnick. We are in what I think is his bedroom and he begins undressing me. My face heats up and I'm pretty sure it looks like a tomato. I quickly shake the thought out of my head and then look back out the road.

After another grueling hour of awkwardness we finally arrive and surprisingly everyone else is already there. Peeta is there too.

When we exit the car we walk to the others, Finnick, Annie and Madge in deep conversation while Prim, Rory and Gale are talking separately.

"Hey Katniss" I jump and then turn around

I smile "Hey Peeta. When did you guys arrive?"

He smiles back "Not too long ago" He pauses and frowns. "I'm sorry about my behavior yesterday, you didn't have to drive me back home"

"Peeta" I put my hand on his bicep "It's okay"

He looks down at my hand and his face starts to go pink. I quickly let go and step back.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that" I say

He looks at me confused "Done what?"

"You know…never mind"

Finnick comes over and puts a hand around my shoulder.

"Should we go for a swim? You know there are some of us who want to get wet" he says mischievously, and somehow I doubt that his sentence was innocent at all because of the gleam in his eyes and his smirk.

I push him away and then go over to Prim. We go back to the car and quickly change into our bathing suits which we were wearing underneath our clothes.

When we get back the boys have already undressed and jumped into the lake. I shake my head and then look at Prim.

"Wanna race?"

"You're on" Prim replies and then starts running towards the lake.

I run after but not nearly as fast as I could, mostly because I don't want my olive colored bikini to fall off even though it has strings across my neck.

When I finally do reach the lake I just stand near it observing.

"Geronimo!" Prim yells before falling face first into the water. When she resurfaces she is rubbing her head while everyone is laughing.

I look around and then catch Peeta looking at me. I smile at him and he gives me a lopsided smile in return.

I start looking around, the place hasn't changed since we were little. As soon as I feel content looking at my surroundings Finnick decides to pull me into the water while holding my waist the entire time. I turn around in his grasp and splash water in his face.

"So that's how you wanna play Kitty Kat"

"Bring it on Finny"

We start having a splash war but then I feel like someone is watching us. Not anyone but one particular blonde haired guy. I look over at him and he is looking at me and Finnick with a sense of longing. As soon as I turn back I am hit especially hard with one of Finnick's 'water tornadoes' as he calls them.

I put my hands in the air "I give up" I say surrendering.

He grins and grabs me and spins me around in the water "I am the champion of the world" He screeches.

I'm pretty sure my ears are bleeding so I untangle myself from his grasp and swim around.

After an hour of swimming around and listening to Johanna and Finnick fight about different types of party games and who's better at them, I sit of the edge of the lake and stare at the beautiful scenery. I suddenly remember all the things father used to do with Prim and I. I smile at the thought. Someone sits next to me, I don't turn to look at who it is but instead just continue staring off into the lake while the sun is starting to set.

"I'm sorry…" surprised I turn to look at Peeta who is keeping me company.

"Why are you sorry?" I ask confused

"Because… I couldn't protect you. I promised to never let anything happen to you, not when I'm around that is and I broke the promise and because of my stupid thinking you lost eight years of your life"

I turn to look at Peeta with a soft smile "Peeta, none of it was your fault. You couldn't help what happened, and anyways I never lost eight years of my life. I still experienced them, it's just that I can't remember."

I pause for a bit "I'm sure they will come back some day. Until that day comes I'll just have to live in the present and move forward because I can't keep sulking about the past"

Peeta looks at me with a determined look in his eyes. He nods and then smiles. "Thank you Katniss" He then gets up and leaves.

I sit there for a while until Prim yells that it's time to go.

That night as I lay in bed I think about what happened today. I think about my talk with Peeta and smile. Even though it was a short talk it felt as though my worries had somehow drifted away. I sleep and the next time I wake up I feel determined to prove to everyone that I'm still the same person I was before the incident

 **A/N: I've currently been suffering from writer's block for this particular fic. Ugh it makes me so frustrated because i've had to write and delete at least 10k words! What do you think of this story? I could really use some suggestions on what else i could do for it. As usual leaving a review is really useful especially at a time like this. Hope you enjoyed even though this chapter was very short and pretty lame :( Other than that there will be some drama coming up from the part that i haven't decided to delete. What do you think about Katniss and Peeta? Let me know your thoughts.**


	6. Memories

**A/N: It has been a long while since i last updated what if... Well i recently had my surgery and everything plus i didn't have much written for this to begin with. I have around 11K words in total :( Read the end for more notes! Enjoy this chapter!**

"Good morning Prim" I say smiling. I feel like today will be an even better day.

Prim looks at me surprised but then smiles back from where she is sitting on the dining table drinking coffee and reading a book, "Good morning. Seems like you're awfully cheerful today"

I sit down next to her after getting a cup for me and pouring some coffee in it. I sigh "Yea, I thought about how getting into that accident shouldn't change me, I feel like it shouldn't drag me down and I should continue to live my life not replaying the past as if it's happening again"

Prim nods but leaves it at that. After what seems like forever I finally get a text from Johanna.

Hey brainless, we're going out tonight no excuses. Prim knows about it… BE READY BY SIX!

Hmm, something about that text makes me think that there is no use fighting Johanna about it so I just shrug and get up from the table. Prim looks up at me and raises her eyebrows

"I'm going to go out for a short run. It feels like forever since I have done anything useful to my body" I say.

Prim nods again. She seems really quiet this morning. I should ask her about it but the look in her eyes tells me that I should leave the talk for later. Come to think of it I haven't seen Rory around here either, strange…

I go into my bedroom and change into a bright purple sports bra and some black tights with a bright purple band at the top that I borrowed form Prim. I awkwardly pull at the fabric, Prim's fashion involves bright girly colors on the other hand I am the complete opposite and would go for my forest green set that I had since forever (they surprisingly still fit).

I head out and as I'm leaving I spot Prim still hunched in the same position at the dining table. She hadn't even touched her coffee!

I furrow my brow and then leave quietly closing the door after me. I sigh as the tension in the room seems to disappear. Something is definitely wrong and I should probably talk to Prim about it sooner or later. I put the earphones of my Ipod on and then set out on a quick jog.

An hour later I end up at a park panting, the heat pouring onto my already slick skin. I wince and then spot a tree with a little seat under it so I head to it and sit down letting out a loud sigh as the ache from my feet begins to fill with relief.

Maybe going out jogging on a hot, summer day wasn't the best idea. I look at the time and see that it is already 1:00. I better start getting back soon because it seems like the weather is only getting hotter. I try taking in a deep breath but the heat in the air is not allowing me. It suddenly feels like I can't breathe but it's not because of the hot blistering heat or the lack of cold air. No. It's the memories pouring back into me. Not much but a few. They are of my first year of college. But they stop at that. I falter, I want to know what else happened but as hard as I try to get more information out of my head it doesn't work.

They are lodged somewhere inside and they won't get out. The only things I remember from the fleeting memory is my first day to college. Meeting Annie, Finnick and Madge and some parties and things that I went to. The only memory that hits me harder than any of them is a sad one.

It slowly comes back to me, the day I cried my heart out yearning for something I could never get back. I recall that day very clearly now. It was my third week into college. I had just gotten back from a party. I had never been any happier, but then I got a text. Not a call, not a person to person chat, no a text. A plain text that described very little but at the same time a lot from my mother.

It had hit me hard just like a brick being thrown straight at my chest and the memory kept coming back. Every single second of the whole day. No, week. After reading the text I called my mother. She answered but at the same time she didn't answer. I could still hear her faint breathing over the phone as if it is happening all over again.

I had cried. For days straight I had locked myself in my room as my roommate at the time, Madge had forced me to get out of the bed to at least eat and shower. And then it was the day.

It was the first time I had seen my mother since. She was like a blank canvas. Devoid of any emotion or anything for that matter. She didn't even look at me as I pleaded for her to respond to me. I cried begging in front of her and she had just walked away.

Ever since that day I had hardened. I drew a wall around me. I had gone around with multiple boys and drunk so much just to forget that day. It didn't help. And I wish I hadn't remembered any of it. I shake my head and then swipe at my face realizing that I had been crying the entire time. Wet, fat tears dripping down my face.

I look at my phone and then feel dread as the date pops up right under the time. No wonder Prim was awfully quiet. Today was the day we finally had laid him to rest. Our father. I hadn't spoken to my mother since. I feel angry at how she regarded me at the hospital. I know she seemed off by the dark bags under her eyes but she had since tried to move on.

I clench my fingers and then begin to walk back. I exit the park and then realize that I don't know where I am. I start walking in the direction I think is right. I walk not looking up. I only stare at the disregarded pavement with gum adorning it everywhere.

I then bump into a solid figure and quickly move away blushing at my clumsiness and begin apologizing profusely.

"Katniss?" I look up surprised and then find Peeta looking down at me.

"Peeta? What are you doing here?" I look at him closely now and realize how silly I sounded when I said that. He was obviously dressed in running gear like me.

I blush again. "I'm sorry, that was silly of me. By any chance do you know the way back to Prim's apartment?"

He smiles a goofy grin crossing his face. "Don't tell me, THE Katniss Everdeen got lost? Wow that's a first"

I elbow his side "Okay, okay I'll take you back". He studies my face and frowns.

He then wipes his thumb across my cheek. I look up at him surprised but he answers my unsaid question anyways.

"You had a tear on your cheek." He doesn't prod any further but I believe he understands what day it is today. After a few minutes of talking he looks back at me surprise written across his features.

"But, I thought you forgot…?" He says this uneasily not sure if he would offend me or not.

I look at him and smile. It barely reaches my lips but it's there. "I did. I still don't remember everything. Only some bits and pieces that are somehow coming back to me. Mainly of our first year in college…"

He nods thoughtfully and bites his bottom lip and I can't help but notice how cute he looks doing so, but I obviously don't say that aloud.

"Have you told anyone yet? Prim?"

I shake my head looking back at his eyes and refocusing my attention to what he's saying. "I don't want to burden everyone with what's happening to me" I say quietly. So quietly that I think Peeta doesn't hear but he responds a second later.

"Katniss, you're not burdening any of us. By telling us we can actually try to help you… and maybe just maybe you will be able to remember" He says this surprisingly loud startling me a bit.

I open my mouth to argue but he beats me to it. "And don't even think about saying otherwise because you are anything but a burden"

I stare at his blue orbs, sparkling with determination. I start to feel more tears coming down my cheek and then he brings me in to a hug. His strong firm arms holding me against his solid frame. I can't help myself but sob. Loud and agonizing sobs coming out from deep inside my chest. I cry for not only my father and friends but for me as well and it feels like a loss of a person who I think will never come back despite my friends telling me otherwise.

After what feels like a long time I finally move out of his grasp and give Peeta a smile. I reach down and link his hand in mine.

He looks at me startled at my sudden boldness. I squeeze his hand "Thank you" Somehow nothing more needs to be said because he squeezes back and we begin to walk back to Prim's house hand in hand.

When we finally arrive back to Prim's house I snatch my hand back seemingly embarrassed about what had just happened. I turn to look back at Peeta while opening the door.

"So… Do you want to come in?" I ask nervous, I don't know why I'm nervous but I just feel a bunch of butterflies swirling around my stomach and won't go away. I scowl looking down at my stomach and then look up when Peeta answers.

"Nah, I'm good. I also have to shower before we go out tonight, of course Johanna probably told you about that" He rambles on and I find it cute that he has to add more words prolonging our conversation as if he doesn't want to go.

I smile at him "It's fine Peeta. I understand, I was actually planning on taking a shower myself so yea I'll see you later"

He finally steps away from prim's porch smiling back, "Okay bye Katniss… tell Prim I said hi to her too"

I nod and then get inside after he leaves from my line of vision.

When I get into the house it doesn't seem as cheerful as it was. Prim must be still at home because her car is still here, but I can't hear a single noise. I then walk into the living room adjoining to the kitchen and find Prim still seated in her pajamas sitting at the dining table… with the same coffee as before.

I walk up to my younger sister who seems to not notice my presence. I know how she feels considering how close she was with dad. I walk up to her and sit down across her.

"Prim?"

She looks up but doesn't answer her eyes glazed over. This isn't my sister. It's only a shell of the lively person she was just hours ago.

"Prim, you have to listen to me. Johanna told us to meet her at the club this afternoon and you are going whether you like it or not so pick yourself up and get ready because thinking about all the things that already happened isn't going to help…"

"You can't live in the past Prim just like I have been trying to…" I say this last part very quietly frowning when I realized that is exactly what I keep unknowingly doing.

Prim doesn't move but after a long pause she mumbles something very quietly that I almost don't hear her "How do you do it Katniss? You have gone through more than I have yet you're still so strong. How?" Her voice begins to tremble and cracks half way through her talk.

I smile, a smile that doesn't fully reach my eyes. "I'm not strong like you think I am Prim, but if you imagine seeing yourself doing something great you can do it. Just like me thinking I can overcome this trauma" The last part was a lie. I don't think I can ever overcome this but I don't tell her so.

She nods and then gets up and goes over to my side to hug me and I hug her back. When Prim moves back she smiles and then goes mumbling that she really needs to have a shower while giving her armpits a disgusted look. I laugh and shake my head at her silliness and then go to my room and get my clothes ready for later.

 **A/N: I don't particularly know why but i feel like this story is a lost cause... I don't know if it's me or the writers block talking but i'm out of idea's on what to write for this story. Tell me what you guys think. Like i don't want to abandon this story but i just don't know what to do for it next. Any suggestions? Thanks for reading 3**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I know it took me a really long while to upload this but i had completely given up on this fic. As of now i will be posting whatever i have already written because staying sitting on my laptop won't do any good. So here is some more chapters of this fic, i might continue it, make it a short fic consisting of 20 chapters or so but as of yet i am unsure. What do you guys think? Should i continue? Any questions feel free to ask or go to my Tumblr Trainofpeetas, thankyou! :)**

After I get my long needed shower done I head to my room and look at the clothes arranged. I sigh and rub my temple, these are definitely not something you would wear to a party or club or where ever Johanna is taking us. Prim then knocks and enters and frowns when she sees my laid out clothes.

"Katniss these are no clothes for going clubbing" Ah, so that's what we're doing.

"But I don't have any clubbing clothes"

She smiles brightly and pulls on my hand leading me towards her bedroom "You can borrow some of mine!"

I shake my head with a goofy smile forming on my face. Knowing Prim her clothes are very well…exuberant is one way to put it.

She then leads me over to her walk in closet and further inside to her side of the closet which is full of all sorts of dresses. She let's go of my hand and sifts through the dresses and finally picks one out

"Here it is! I knew I had this one in here somewhere!" She hands the dress over to me and I look at it.

It's a black dress with only one long sleeve. It ends just above the knees and has sparkles all over it. It's not exactly my type but looking at the rest of Prim's dresses this will have to do.

"Oh and to go with it wear these heels" She says as she hands me some sparkling black pumps that complement the dress.

I go back into my room and put the dress and pumps on. I leave my hair out and go to Prim who only scolds me. "Katniss you never put on any makeup so I'll just have to take matters into my own hands" She says as she drags me to her vanity.

"Prim you know I'm not like that"

"No excuses" She says as she sits me down on the chair and she starts doing my makeup. After a long grueling amount of time she finally tells me to open my eyes.

"There now you look gorgeous for a night out clubbing!" Prim says as she turns me towards the mirror.

I gape at how different I look. She put on a nice smoky black look for eyes and took away all the blemishes on my face. "Prim you did a nice job but I still don't think this is a good idea"

"Don't worry you look beautiful now all there's left to do is curl your hair" Prim says as she leads me to her bathroom. After another twenty minutes of curling my hair and then hers we finish.

I look at Prim in a sparkly strapless pink dress and makeup that complements it. If you tell me she looks like a barbie doll but I don't say anything because it does look good on her.

We hear someone enter the house and Prim rushes out of the room. I can tell that it's Rory so I just leave them for a few seconds before I get out of their bedroom.

"Hey Katniss" Rory greets when he sees me with Prim hugging his side and his hand over her shoulders.

"Hey Rory" I say as I look at the buttoned up dark grey dress shirt and black slacks that he's wearing.

"Are you ladies ready to go?" Rory says while giving Prim a quick kiss on the lips which makes her giggle.

I roll my eyes at their affection "Okay let's head out before I barf all over your living room" I say with a smile on my lips.

Prim just rolls her eyes "Remember Katniss I wasn't the one with a half-naked Finnick in her bed" She says giving me a suggestive look.

I glare at my younger sister as Rory looks between the two of us confused. "I told you already that nothing happened between us and to never bring that up again!" I say exasperated.

"Yea, yea whatever you say big sis" Prim says as I grab my clutch and we head out to Rory's car.

After a long drive we finally make it to the club. The outside has lights flashing all around it and it looks huge. You can hear the loud music beating from the outside and the line for the entrance is well it's so long that you have to be the most patient person in the world to wait in it, which I'm not…

"Prim, are you sure this is the right club?"

Prim looks back at me from where her and Rory are standing "Yes it is…"

"Prim it'll be way past midnight before we even enter the club and it's already 6"

"Oh yea Finnick has us covered for that. Something about having a VIP access." Prim says looking at Rory again who is on his phone.

He puts down his phone when he finds who he's looking for and waves over to someone from the distance "I found Gale. He said that the rest of the group are already here and waiting for us"

"Okay, are you coming Kat?" Prim says looking back at me again.

"Yea Prim, I'm coming" I say as I sluggishly walk from behind them. I really don't feel like in a partying mood, especially after what happened earlier today but I guess having a few drinks won't hurt.

I stand straight as we get closer to the group. The boys are all wearing similar to Rory's outfit just with different coloured dress shirts. The girls all have beautiful dresses on. Madge has a blue dress that complements her eyes and her hair, which is left down and curled. Annie is wearing an emerald green dress that ends at her ankles. Johanna is, well she's wearing sparkling gold short with stockings underneath and she has a black sparkly tank top. I shake my head at her outrageous choice of clothing, but that's Johanna for you.

Finnick lets out a low whistle when he sees me "You cleaned up really nicely kitty kat"

"So did you. And don't call me Kitty Kat" I say curtly with a scowl.

He laughs "Woah feisty so early in the afternoon. The night is still young my love"

"Yea…" I snort.

I catch Peeta looking at me from the corner and I smile at him when I catch his eye.

"Hey Peeta" I say as I walk up to him leaving Finnick behind.

"Hey Katniss, you look nice"

My smile grows a bit wider as my heart starts to beat faster "Thank you. You look nic-handsome too" I stutter my words and my cheeks begin to grow some heat as I look anywhere but at his eyes

"We're heading into the club now!" Finnick says as he comes over interrupting my small conversation with Peeta.

I shrug looking back at Peeta "We'll talk more later" I say to him as Prim and Finnick drag me through the doors.

I see him curtly nod and then I am lost in the sea of people and loud music. I try to keep up with everyone but it's no use. I see Johanna but she's already with some random stranger chatting away and by the suggestive looks that she is giving the guy I'm sure that I don't want to be anywhere near her.

I sigh and then head to the bar ordering a daiquiri. When I finally get my drink I turn around on the rotating stool and take a sip while looking around. I try to look for anyone that I might know but I come up with nothing.

It doesn't help the club is so crowded either. If it was up to me I wouldn't have chosen such a high class place. Then I spot a familiar golden mop of hair and I instantly yell the person over, "PEETA!"

Luckily he notices because he turns around and grins as he walks up to me "I was trying to look for someone but I think that I saw Finnick, Prim, Rory, Gale, Madge and Annie head to the dance floor" He says and I barely hear him over the noise.

I nod instead of answering taking another sip of the alcohol. He then orders a beer and sits on the stool next to me. Maybe now is as good as a time to get some answers.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So i decided that i will definitely continue this story but it will probably take me a while until i get everything sorted out and some more written. More author notes at the end, Enjoy!**

"Peeta can I ask you something?"

He looks at me with his eyebrows raised in question "Yea sure"

I think for a moment on what I want to know and then think about something "How did me and Finnick start dating?" I say curiosity getting the best of me.

He looks surprised for a moment and then answers "Well it was in college. He was in biology class with you" I raise my eyebrows at that and he laughs.

"Well it all started when I met him at gym. Occasionally you would join us and then he asked me about you. He took the class only to be with you, I guess you two eventually started to get along great and he asked you at a party some guy from college had hosted. You said yes and well stuff happened. He dropped biology after that because he failed in it" He shrugs and then takes a sip from his beer.

I laugh at the last bit, but the whole story seems so ridiculous and so unlike me. I shake my head and think of something else "Are you dating anyone?" I blurt and then cover my mouth. "I'm sorry you don't need to answer that" I quickly rush out but he just shakes his head and answers my question anyways.

From the dimmed lights I can barely make out a slight blush on his cheeks "No. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of four years" He says nonchalantly.

"Really how?" I know I shouldn't ask anything too sensitive but I can't help myself.

"Well after the incident she said that she didn't want to be with anyone who is disadvantaged of sorts" He says while patting his slowly healing leg.

"Oh. I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked" I say sadly. Who could ever leave their partner after such a horrific accident? Especially someone as kind as Peeta.

"No it's fine really. We were never really in love anyways" He shrugs off but I can tell that the topic bothers him.

I look at him and then tilt my head confused "Then why did you date her for four years?"

He looks at me with a sad smile "Because the girl I was in love with ever since I was young was dating someone else. So I tried to get over her by dating another girl" He says.

"Well whoever that girl is she should know how great of a person you are Peeta"

"She probably does Katniss. But I don't think she thinks of me as someone more than a friend"

"You never know" I retort trying to defend for him.

"You're right Katniss but she's been dating that same guy for five years now. I don't think she is going to break up with him anytime soon" Peeta says and then turns back to his drink and takes another sip.

I drop the subject at that as I take a sip of my long forgotten drink. I wonder who the girl that Peeta likes is. She sure as hell doesn't know what she's missing out on. Who doesn't want Peeta as a boyfriend I think to myself but then am interrupted when Prim comes to me.

"Come on Katniss! You're missing out on all the fun dancing!" She says dragging me off my seat.

"Prim you know I don't dance" I say trying to get her to stop.

"Come on Katniss, plus you know that it will mean a lot to me if you do… especially after having such a rough start in the morning" She says pouting knowing that she is winning the argument by bringing up dads death.

I sigh and down the rest of my drink before letting her drag me to the rest of the group. I look back at Peeta and motion for him to come join us. He nods and finishes his drink before he follows suit.

We head into the noisy and crowded dance floor. I can already feel the start of an oncoming headache. I never liked being in crowded places and I don't think that it's going to change anytime soon. I begrudgingly follow prim all the way to the center of the dance floor where Johanna, Annie, Finnick and Madge are dancing. I just stand still watching everyone else around me dance. I feel awkward and uncomfortable. I just want to leave.

"Katniss you okay?" Peeta says coming up from behind me.

I give him a small smile and sigh "Yea let's just get this over and done with"

He nods and then takes my hand and twirls me around. I giggle at the clumsy movement and nearly trip halfway through my spin. Peeta holds onto my waist and I look up at him, time seems to stop as I stare up into his gorgeous blue eyes that seem to be twinkling in the dim lighting. Is it just me or does his face seem to be getting closer? I don't have any more time to think because prim drags me away from peeta and leads me into a quiet corner away from any prying eyes or ears.

"What's going on back there?" She hisses at me.

I look at her confused "Nothing"

She rolls her eyes at that "Don't play dumb with me Katniss. Peeta has had a crush on you since ages, don't play with his feelings like that. Don't lead him on. Plus you haven't even broken anything off with Finnick."

I look at my younger sister in shock. It takes me a full minute before I respond "What makes you think Peeta likes me? Plus it doesn't matter anyways I don't like him like that… and I would never cheat on Finnick" That's a lie. I've thought of Peeta as more than a friend. I just kept denying my feelings, as for being with Finnick I think I should give him a second chance before I just break up with him. It isn't fair for him.

Prim just sighs heavily "I hope you get your head cleared Katniss" She says and then turns around getting lost in the crowd. I stare at the spot where she was just standing in mere minutes ago.

Prim was right. She's always right. I can't play with both Peeta and Finnick's feelings and the thing is I feel like I might be liking Peeta more than Finnick. I put my hands on my face. What am I doing? What I really need is to break up with Finnick and get my head sorted out before I start dating again.

Fuck who am I kidding. My younger sister is already engaged and here I am trying to pick up the fragmented pieces of my brain. What I am certain about though is me having a talk with Finnick. I have a feeling that the conversation will not go well at all. I sigh and then head back to the dance floor where everyone spends the rest of the evening dancing and having fun. For me however, it feels like I'm having an internal war with myself.

Later that night everyone gets back to Prims house and decides to crash there for the night. Prim tells them to behave and throws a stack of blankets at them before her and Rory head over to their own bedroom.

I roll my eyes at Prim as she waltzes to her bedroom looking very tipsy and the only reason she's still walking is because Rory is supporting her by keeping one hand on her waist.

I look at everyone setting camp out in the living room and shake my head yawning. I close my eyes and then go into my bedroom and change into a pair of black pajama shorts and a loose white oversized shirt that covers the shorts. I get into my bed exhausted but end up just lying there. I stare at the roof and then shift onto my side getting agitated that sleep was not coming easily.

After another hour of just laying attempting to sleep, I get up angry at myself and quietly walk outside onto Prims back porch. I go to the railing and look up at the stars which blanket the dark blue and slightly purple looking sky. I sigh listening to the crickets and feeling the wind on my face. I close my eyes and sigh at the peacefulness and tranquility, which I haven't been getting these past few days.

I quickly turn around as I hear a rock crunch under someone's feet. I look up and sigh in relief when I notice it's only Peeta… I tense up. It's only Peeta. Peeta. The source of my current problem.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you... I just couldn't sleep" Peeta says nervously scratching the back of his neck.

I turn back to face the stars and try to hide my blush that appeared when I noticed he was shirtless "I-It's okay, I couldn't sleep either"

He doesn't say anything but comes closer and leans on the railing next to me. After a minute of silence he turns to look at me his head tilted a bit "Say Katniss, I want to show you something…" He hesitates for a second "If you'll allow it that is?"

I look at Peeta and I notice a slight dusting of pink has covered his cheeks. I smile tenderly at his adorable expression and respond avoiding looking anywhere lower than his neck "Sure"

He tilts his head to the opposite direction and points his head that way, leading down the small steps of the porch. "This way" he walks ahead of me and I follow quietly.

I lift my head from looking at the ground and cast a glance at his naked back. It wouldn't hurt if he didn't notice me gawking at his chiseled back right?

Peeta turns to look back at me and I quickly avert my eyes embarrassed at having been caught. I hear him chuckle and then he goes near the small fence separating Prims garden from the forest behind it. He opens a small gate and then turns back to look at me.

I hesitate and look back at the house. I mentally scold myself, Peeta won't do anything bad to me so I shouldn't doubt him. I look at his eyes and nod. He walks through the gate without saying a word and I follow suit.

We walk for another two minutes until we reach a small pond that is decorated by fairy looking stones, statues and beautiful purple flowers. I gasp when I notice the fireflies adorning the site. The moonlight is reflected into the pond and the scene all seems so magical. I peel my eyes away from the beautiful site and look towards a sheepish looking Peeta who is scratching the back of his neck once again.

"I actually decorated this a while back with you… I didn't think you'd remember it but we used to come out here at night sometimes and just sit in quiet" He says and his blue eyes sparkle as the reflection of the moonlight catches on them.

I stare captivated by him and this site and new revelation of information. I finally find my voice and look him directly in the eyes when I say this "It's beautiful" You're beautiful, I want to say but keep my mouth shut.

He laughs a bit and I find myself falling for him even more "Thought you'd like it"

"I love it" I whisper awed as I look once more at the scenery surrounding me. I don't know when it happens but I find myself standing face to face with Peeta.

His breath catches when he notices our proximity. I stare at his eyes and at that moment I don't think twice before placing my hand on his chest and leaning up to kiss him. The moment our lips meet it feels right. This feels right. I don't think about the consequences of everything as our lips meld together and he softly presses back. We stay keeping our lips connected for a few seconds before Peeta breaks apart with a pained expression on his face.

"Katniss I'm sorry. I-I can't…" He says and steps back from me. My arm drops from him and I begin to think clearly at what I had just done.

I had just unintentionally cheated on Finnick, and it wasn't just because of the kiss but because I emotionally started falling for Peeta. I lift my hands to my face horrified and shake my head "That, that wasn't supposed to happen" I shake my head and begin walking backwards towards the house "I shouldn't have done that I'm so sorry Peeta I just-" I turn around and run back.

"Katniss! Wait!" Peeta yells from behind me but I continue running until I get back into the house.

As carefully as I can I get back into my room and close the door. I quickly take off my slippers and hide myself under the duvet as I try to rid myself of the fact that I had just kissed Peeta Mellark. I shake my head and will myself to sleep and thankfully this time I almost instantly fall asleep.

The next day when I wake up I remember what happened last night and instantly began feeling guilty. What have I done? I told myself and promised Prim that I would sort stuff out with Finnick first before trying to do anything with Peeta.

"I'm a horrible person" I mumble into my pillow, which turns out all muffled.

I groan and get up as I hear the voices of everyone else. I walk to the bathroom, tie my hair into a messy high ponytail, brush my teeth and then steel the nerve to confront everyone.

 **A/N: Peeta what did you do?! Katniss what did you do?! What did i do?! :O I probably just made things ten times harder and more awkward for Katniss, i'm sorry Dx Thank you to everyone who has stayed and read this story and thank you to everyone who has reviewed, it really does help me :) Please tell me what you think so far.**


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